Sporty’s Hot New Products for April 1st

Editor’s Note: Happy April Fools’ Day.


The World’s Largest Pilot Shop is celebrating April 1st with the release of these amazing new products. Developed by Sporty’s team of expert pilots, each product was hand-picked for this special day.

 

stealth ornament

Sporty’s 2015 Christmas Ornament is…..

the stealth fighter.  That’s right!  Not since the P-51 has an airplane changed the way our military approaches air-to-air combat. This ornament portrays the stealth’s most important feature: invisible to radar.

But wait, THERE’S MORE! Act now and preorder the stealth fighter 2015 ornament and we’ll give the stealth bomber ornament, a $29.99 value, absolutely free. That’s right, two stealth ornaments – the fighter and the bomber – for only $29.99! Just pay separate processing and shipping.

 

tournniket

The Tourniquet Kneeboard

You’re flying along and your foot falls off…WHAT DO YOU DO? Not to worry because you have this innovative new product: the tourniquet kneeboard! It’s a kneeboard and a tourniquet in one simple design! Why carry two separate devices when this amazing product can serve both purposes? Simply attach the kneeboard to your leg. If you’re suffering massive blood loss, spin the kneeboard in a clockwise direction to restrict the flow of blood through your leg.

 

tie down

Indestructible Tie Down Kit

Are you tired of wimpy tie downs at rural airports?  Say NO to frayed ropes and permanent restraints with this indestructible tie down kit.  Each kit includes a bucket, one bag of concrete mix, and a 10’ chain. They are highly portable and easily fit into the baggage compartment of a Boeing 747. Water sold separately.

 

faa got it right

The Time the FAA Got It Right

This best-selling book is hot off the press. After decades of thorough research, author and CFI Purdy Crazee compiled a comprehensive review of every time the FAA got it right. “I spent many sleepless nights sifting though years of data to make this book 100% accurate,” says Mr. Crazee. This is a limited edition printing so order now before they are gone. The paperback edition is approximately two pages in length including the cover and back cover.

 

wand

Flight Instructor Reinforcement Wand

Did you ever have that student who could not perform steep turns perfectly on the first attempt? Correct this unacceptable behavior with the Flight Instructor Reinforce Wand. No more whining, no more complaining! One jolt from this wand will have them thinking twice before drifting off altitude or airspeed. Fine print: batteries sold separately. Human use prohibited.

 

By now you’ve probably realized that these are not real products. Happy April Fool’s Day! Care to add to our list of outrageous items?

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Doug grew up off the end of a runway and has wanted to fly before he could ride a bike. As the catalog manager for Sporty's Pilot Shop, he takes pride in developing products that make flying easier for pilots. After spending a short time in the military including a year in Iraq, his standards are abnormally high for pilot products. A private pilot with an instrument rating, he enjoys small prop planes more than any jet. You'll normally find him in a Cessna 172 or Skycatcher while on a mission to find the finest biscuits and gravy at an airport cafe.

1 COMMENT

  1. I belong to the KLOUDBUSTERS Rocket club south of Argonia, Ks.(8 mi. south and 1 3/8 mi. east) On April 12, 2015 at 1 PM I lost a rocket. Is there a way to get the wind speed and direction for this area at this time and day.
    Thank you,
    Jerry
    785-470-7267

Comments are closed.